November 2020 newsletter

HOW TO DAD 🤷‍♂️ — Mirza Monthly #6
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Hey friends and family,

It’s that time of the year again -  moustache season! Happy Movember and time to embrace the ‘tache. So GROW big... or go home 😉 In the spirit of Movember, we’re spotlighting men’s wellbeing and fatherhood. And like every other taboo, we’re here to smash the stigma around men’s mental health by talking about it all month long!

As part of that conversation, we’re launching our podcast: Work Hard, Parent Hard 🎙 In this introductory season, How to Dad, we’re diving into the world of modern fatherhood. We’ve got an epic lineup of guests joining us; we’ve chatted with Carl Banks, Ted Bunch, Joseph Cultice and others about what fatherhood and masculinity mean to them, and what it means to be a dad right now. We’re releasing the first episode on November 16th, anywhere you get your podcasts. 

We’re also thrilled to be continuing our collaboration with ThreeMDs, our go-to power trio of women doctors ⚡️ In line with this month’s theme, they’ll be addressing male factor fertility. 

We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again, gender equity in the workplace starts at home. Sharing the housework equally not only makes for a healthy relationship and a sparkling home, but plays a much larger role beyond the house. A fascinating study showed that when fathers shouldered an equal share of housework, their daughters were less likely to limit their aspirations to stereotypically female occupations. An act as simple as splitting the housework can have life-changing effects. Who knew it was so simple?!

Other small day-to-day moments that we should all be aware of include saying statements like “you throw like a girl”, “man-up!” and “boys will be boys.” Throwaway comments like these can have big consequences. They perpetuate toxic masculinity without us even realising; they buy into an outdated gender system. By making these small but conscientious changes to what we do and say in the house can truly change the world for our kids 🙌

Here are some recommendations for the modern dad:

  • Working Dads is a great website for the everyday dad. Find jobs, advice and other resources. 
  • A Call to Men is on a mission to re-educate society and share a more healthy and respectful idea of manhood. 
  • Neat Dad on Instagram is an account that posts quality dad content. Brace yourself for endless dad jokes!

We’ve all heard about mothers getting the ‘pregnancy glow,’ but what about dads? Men might not get the same hormonal benefits that come with pregnancy and breastfeeding, but becoming a dad comes with its own share of health benefits too. Here are 3 surprising health perks of fatherhood:

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, becoming a dad will not guarantee all these life-enhancing results - if only they did! Healthy lifestyle choices such as being active and eating a balanced diet are important for all men, no matter if you’re a dad or not. 

Testosterone levels in men naturally fluctuate throughout a lifetime. It drops by about a third when men become fathers, and the decline may even start before the baby is born. Dads who spend more time with their infants see the biggest dip. Before anyone makes a joke about literally being “less of a man,” this isn’t necessarily bad news. Studies have shown that the lower a man’s testosterone, the more likely he is to release key reward and bonding hormones when interacting with his child. Caring for your child, therefore, produces not only a strong bond but a neurochemical reward, inducing feelings of happiness, contentment and warmth. Not a bad trade-off!

Conversely, it’s essential to acknowledge that extreme hormonal changes in men can also have negative effects. Like mothers, fathers are susceptible to postpartum depression when a baby is born. However, male postpartum depression is often eclipsed by its maternal counterpart. Combined with the stigma around men’s mental health and toxic masculinity, it means that this condition often goes undiagnosed in fathers. This is a crucial aspect of fatherhood that needs to be redressed. Men, dads or not, all experience mental and emotional struggles, we just don’t talk about it enough. So get ready because you'll be hearing us talk about it nonstop this month!

🍁 Happy Thanksgiving! Being grateful this year has taken on a whole new meaning. Who knew leaving the house or hugging a loved one could mean so much?
 

⭐️  It’s Native American Heritage Month and before you give all your money to Jeff Bezos, why not support a native-owned business this Black Friday? 
 

🇺🇸  In honor of Veterans Day on the 11th, find out what military family life is really like by reading Tara’s story and Tom and Anna’s story.
 

💵 Take part in Movember by growing an epic moustache. If getting hairy is not for you, check out the Movember website for more ideas on how to fundraise and raise awareness this month. 

That’s a wrap on our Movember Newsletter! Thanks for catching up with us. Now we’d like to hear from you. We’re currently looking for beta testers and would love to have you onboard. To calculate your family expenses using our planning tool, sign up on our website.

Speak to you soon,

M.

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Big picture questions to ask before starting a family

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What will life for working parents look like for the next four years?